everything is different

I have been gone for about a year, there was too much going on to blog or make videos. BUT I want to continue documenting because truly this journey is getting pretty interesting.

Have you ever wanted to just totally turn your life around? Go the other direction?

Well, I did just that...with the speed of light. I went from a bad life to a good life, I left everything behind.

When I got sick, a half year before I started this blog, I was in a bad marriage, unhappy with my life and wanting to get out. I detached myself from my unfaithful, controlling, aggressive Ex of whom I had tired long time ago and focused on my illness and getting better. While still in New York, things had already started looking brighter, I had made friends, got a new hobby, I got out a lot...

Some things happen when least expected, right? In May 2010, I fell in love with my online friend of 2 1/2 years. One day we were chatting on MSN like always and the next we were in love. We had "met" in 2007 when I gave him some hair care advice on the Longhair Community Forums. We always had literally everything in common but because of circumstances remained friends. I was also rather distant, but undeniably there was always something more going on between us. I know that in the back of my heart I had feelings for him and so did he.

Anyhow, we felt we had been apart for way too long and so I decided to pack up and move to San Diego!

I left almost everything in New York, because when I went back to the apartment to get some things (My Ex still lived at the old apartment and I had left many things there not wanting to deal with him), my Ex was causing so many problems, I just put a few things into storage, grabbed 4 suitcases, my dog and my bunny and ran. And I did all this secretly when he was working overtime for two days....by the time he came home I was ready to board my plane.

I flew over Chicago, to San Diego. When I got off the plane I saw my boyfriend for the first time in real life. It was pretty much like in a movie, we kissed, we were overjoyed and did not feel the slightest bit weird.
We had plans for our future life already too, we wanted to save up money in San Diego, so we could move wherever we want, a really nice place and raise a family.

I started applying for Jobs (Bilingual Administrative Assistant) immediately. Granted, I still did not feel great after my surgery, and had even started bleeding again, but I thought it would pass.

But it didn't, I had abdominal pains, I felt dizzy, my stomach was bloated and I had flu like symptoms.
I thought I must have caught a stomach virus.
Then it so happened that I missed my period...., my first thought was that my cycle might just be weird because of the surgery and bleeding, but my cycle had never been irregular either. We bought a pregnancy test, I tested twice and instead of a plus I got a vertical line, which still means  -  pregnant.

I was really shocked at first, and worried. Mostly because I was thinking of all my "health issues" (I don't feel ill) and how they could complicate pregnancy. Also, having had surgery on my cervix, the pregnancy was at risk.

As shocked and scared as were were, we were also really happy. Even if unplanned, it is a very special feeling when you learn you are pregnant with a tiny tiny life, that will grow into your very own beloved baby.